Live from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma let’s talk some Smackdown…

It was the season premiere of SD and the start of the show’s run in the US on Syfy. I’m afraid I will have to be really brief with my comments this week because I don’t have the time to write that much. It’s Saturday and there are things to do, I’m afraid. At the end of the SD recap I will include a quick HIAC preview as well. Let’s roll.

The new intro song for Smackdown is “Know Your Enemy” by Green Day. Cool by me. I will post the video of it at the end of the recap.

Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP ended in a WTF?!?!
They wrestled for about a minute and then Nexus (without Wade Barrett) came out. They beat up Ziggler on the floor. Then they beat up MVP in the ring. Big Show came out and they knocked him to the floor. Cena came out. They took him down, so Big Show cleared them all out with a chair. I would have liked to see the match get more time, but I guess it just shows the IC title doesn’t matter compared to Cena’s angle.

Post match, Wade Barrett appeared on screen to say that due to the SyFy president being a Brit he got to make some matches tonight. It would be Big Show vs. 5 Nexus guys and Cena vs. Kane. Later we’d find out Cena vs. Kane would be a Lumberjack Match. Teddy Long stood there unable to do anything. He got PWNED as the kids would say. Not me. The kids. I think.

They added Cole to the announce team with Grisham & Striker. I assume it’s just for this week. You can tell Vince loves Cole if he’s adding him to this show, though.

Natalya, Kelly & Bellas x2 d. McCool, Layla, Maryse & Alicia (1/2*)
This felt really rushed at just under 3 minutes. I marked out for Natalya’s offense because how many women in WWE can even do a butterfly suplex? She rocks. My favorite woman in the company. All hell broke loose and it ended up being Natalya against Maryse in there. Natalya made her tap to the Sharpshooter. Love that move. Of course I do, I’m Canadian. It’s in our blood to love the Sharpshooter. Post match, Michelle showed fear towards Natalya. They’re wrestling at the PPV.

The best part of the above match? McCool kicking Hornswoggle. Best thing she’s ever done. Real talk!

I love how Matt Striker plugged NXT moving to WWE.com (in the US) as the first time a TV show has been moved to WWE.com. That’s called a major downgrade, people. In case you didn’t know.

It was over the top comedy time with Jack Swagger’s All-American American Homecoming because they were in Oklahoma City where he is from. He was wearing a cape because he proclaimed himself the king and had a dude dressed like a bald eagle. He cut a promo saying Texas is better than Oklahoma (big football rivalry) that drew some massive heat. He went on and on like usual. Then he got interrupted by…Edge. He showed babyface tendencies in the promo and said he was on a mission to “rid the WWE landscape of anything that is stupid.” Holy shit that could take forever! It’s only a two hour show. Swagger had the line of the night as he said he had his own mascot, which is cool, not stupid. Go Jack. Edge went after Jack, but he bailed, so Edge went after the mascot and gave him a spear to end the segment. I assume the GM fires Edge from Raw and he lands on Smackdown to feud with Swagger, which is fine by me because Smackdown needs babyfaces. Edge can elevate him in a feud. At least it’s fresh!

Backstage, Nexus talked strategy.

Grooming Tips with Cody Rhodes~! It was about deodorant on your armpits. I already do that. Any sane person should. Well done, Cody. Help the smelly of the world.

Nexus d. Big Show via ridiculous submission (NR)
They all grabbed a body part and hung on, so he passed out due to the pain. Apparently 5 on 1 means five guys all at the same time. There’s a joke there, but I’m going to leave it for you. Fella. This is WWE’s way of saying Nexus is on the PPV so they matter while Big Show isn’t, so he’s irrelevant in this situation. Gabriel ended it with two 450 splashes.

We got a long Undertaker vs. Kane video package. This is my favorite version of their feud. It’s been well done except for the fact that we had to hear the word “vegetative” about 457 times in the last few months.

The Undertaker d. CM Punk (*1/2)
A few weeks ago they wrestled and Undertaker barely beat him in a good match. This time? Undertaker destroyed him in about four minutes. CM Punk remains the most underused performer in WWE while Undertaker looks very strong going into the PPV. They accomplished what they were going for here.

Alberto Del Rio came out mocking Mysterio. His announcer brought out a Chihuahua that had a little mask on his face that he claimed was Rey Mysterio. Eventually Rey came out. He barely sold the arm injury, which is a bit of a letdown. Del Rio dodged the 619, but his announcer didn’t. Rey hit that to a big pop. They are doing a good job of making Del Rio seem like a smart heel that picks when he fights.

Randy Orton d. Cody Rhodes (*)
He won in about two minutes with the RKO. I don’t like burying a new tag champ so easily. He also gave the RKO to Drew McIntyre. After that Sheamus ran in, gave him the kick and left him laying. That’s a clear sign that Orton’s winning on Sunday. No doubt in my mind there.

They aired a long video package on WWE’s charity work and especially John Cena with Make A Wish. That’s a reason why you don’t turn the guy heel. He’s incredible at that stuff. Then again maybe that’s why they showed it because he’s about to turn heel? I have no idea.

Kane vs. John Cena ended in a No Contest (*1/2)
No way they were doing a finish here. They got about 8 minutes. Nexus was at ringside as lumberjacks. They beat up Cena on the floor, but they left Kane alone. They respect people that are the devil’s favorite demon I guess. Cena was on the defensive for much of it and then he hit his vintage offense. Kane went to the floor and started brawling with Nexus. Cena fought Nexus too. He bailed up the ramp. I guess nobody has the advantage going into Sunday’s match. They also did that so he could get out of the way for Undertaker vs. Kane hype.

Post match, Undertaker showed up in the ring after the lights were out. Undertaker and Kane had a standup brawl that went into the crowd. They got back into the ring, Paul Bearer lifted the urn and Undertaker was able to chokeslam him. Kane left before he could take any more punishment. The show ended with Undertaker doing his pose in the ring while Paul Bearer happily held up the urn. Good build for the match.

Three Stars of the Show
1. Undertaker – Sure, why not? He seemed to have the energy this week. Give the old guy his due.
2. Alberto Del Rio – This guy makes me laugh.
3. Michelle McCool – I’m not a huge fan of her, but that kick on Hornswoggle earns her a nod.

6.5 out of 10
Last week: 5

I thought it did a good job of building the stories for Hell in a Cell. I care more about every match on the card that they were trying to promote and for that it worked. I also thought some of the comedy bits with Swagger, Edge and Del Rio were pretty funny.

I don’t know what else to say except that I enjoyed the show.

Here’s the new Smackdown intro in case you missed it. The song is “Know Your Enemy” by Green Day. One of my favorite bands, but they do have better song. It fits the “sports entertainment” motif though. That’s a fun word to say: motif. Go for it.

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A Quick Hell in a Cell Preview

Just a quickie this week. Sorry fella. Life’s busy.

Unified Divas Title: Michelle vs. Natalya
Natalya looked strong on Smackdown. I expect Michelle to keep the belt by cheating or DQ. I hope the storyline continues after this match, though. Natalya deserves the belt.

US Title – Submissions Count Anywhere: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison
I think Bryan wins by making Morrison tap. He was put in the match to lose because they don’t want Miz losing again on consecutive PPVs. They want to build him up.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett
If Cena wins, Nexus is done. If Barrett wins, Cena joins Nexus. I’m not sure here. The posters for Bragging Rights and Survivor Series both feature Nexus, so maybe they aren’t done like I think. I think if Cena loses he’ll be a reluctant babyface in the group. It could be an interesting angle. Still, I’m going to go with Cena for the win although I’m reluctant about it. Due to low ratings they might consider the Cena loss here.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This is Hell in a Cell. Orton will win for sure. Does anybody ever win title rematches? The question is will Miz cash in Money in the Bank after it’s over? I say yes. And he will leave as new WWE Champion. They need to create some buzz for Raw. This will be a way. It also gives them a new feud in Orton vs. Miz.

World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker
I’m not sure, but I’ll go with Undertaker. There’s a chance that Paul Bearer turns on him to help Kane. I think it’s too soon for that, though. If they want to extend this until perhaps Bragging Rights and Survivor Series (Undertaker’s 20 year anniversary) then they would need to put the belt on Undertaker. I’ll go Undertaker with the win to end the PPV on a happy note for the fans.

I’m not going to be writing about the PPV live on thejohnreport.net, but I will try to get a post up on Monday at some point.

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John Canton – john@thejohnreport.net
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